An Amusing Encounter with the Law

How do you write a humourous piece aboutf a run-in with the Law?

The Gilbreths tackle such a scene in their second book, Belles on their Toes. While Cheaper by the Dozen is the story of their dad, this book is about their mother.

In one episode, Mrs. Lillian Gilbreth has come to the White House. Knowing of her large family, the President (Herbert Hoover, in this case) asks her to have her children descend en masse so he can meet them. Mrs. Gilbreth knows the danger of this request, but agrees have her six sons come for a reception with the President and his wife.

Instead of taking the train, the boys decide to take their old Model T, a vehicle that "had neither top nor fenders."

And apparently bad tires.

In fact, the trip is riddled flat tires. So, after yet another patch job, they try to make up for lost time and speed along the highway, going 60 miles an hour in their old jalopy. And that's when they get stopped by a highway patrolman on a motorbike.

"Where do you think you're going, anyway?" the policeman asked, thrusting his face up near Frank's.

"We're going to Washington, Officer."

"And what are you going to Washington for?"

Frank thought that one over, and concluded that if he knew what was good for him he'd better come up with a more convincing explanation than the truth.

"Why nothing in particular," he said. "Just to sight-see, I guess."

"Go ahead and tell him," Jack said contemptuously. "Don't let him buffalo you like that."

Bill beaned him again.

"Yeah, tell me," the policeman ordered.

"All right," said Frank. "We're going to see President Hoover."

"I love wise guys, particularly in suits like that one," the patrolman leered. "I suppose the President invited you, personal, to drop in and have tea with him at the White House? Sure he did."

Frank nodded sheepishly.

"Nothing from nobody," Jack repeated from the back seat, putting his hands over his head to try to stave off Bill's knuckles.

"That's right, honest," Frank said desperately. "We've had some flat tires, and we're late."

"You," said the policeman, pointing to Jack. "Is that right? Are you going to see the President?"

"Not just the President," Jack told him. "Mrs. Hoover and some judges from the Supreme Court, too. Why don't you shove off, Buddy?"

The patrolman surveyed the car, the airplane paint job, the red waterline. He looked at us individually--Frank, Bill, and Fred, greasy from changing tires. Dan pale and about to be car sick. Jack and Bob, wrinkled and dirty.

"I guess you're telling the truth," he said. "The President doesn't get many laughs, and I ain't going to be responsible for his missing this one. Go ahead. But not more than forty-five miles an hour."

Taken from:
Gilbreth, Frank B. Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey. Belles on their Toes (195*), pp. 197-8.

How did I rate this book? 3 stars