An Amusing Encounter with the Law

How do you write a humourous piece aboutf a run-in with the Law?

The Gilbreths tackle such a scene in their second book, Belles on their Toes. While Cheaper by the Dozen is the story of their dad, this book is about their mother.

In one episode, Mrs. Lillian Gilbreth has come to the White House. Knowing of her large family, the President (Herbert Hoover, in this case) asks her to have her children descend en masse so he can meet them. Mrs. Gilbreth knows the danger of this request, but agrees have her six sons come for a reception with the President and his wife.

Instead of taking the train, the boys decide to take their old Model T, a vehicle that "had neither top nor fenders."

And apparently bad tires.

In fact, the trip is riddled flat tires. So, after yet another patch job, they try to make up for lost time and speed along the highway, going 60 miles an hour in their old jalopy. And that's when they get stopped by a highway patrolman on a motorbike.

"Where do you think you're going, anyway?" the policeman asked, thrusting his face up near Frank's.

"We're going to Washington, Officer."

"And what are you going to Washington for?"

Frank thought that one over, and concluded that if he knew what was good for him he'd better come up with a more convincing explanation than the truth.

"Why nothing in particular," he said. "Just to sight-see, I guess."

"Go ahead and tell him," Jack said contemptuously. "Don't let him buffalo you like that."

Bill beaned him again.

"Yeah, tell me," the policeman ordered.

"All right," said Frank. "We're going to see President Hoover."

"I love wise guys, particularly in suits like that one," the patrolman leered. "I suppose the President invited you, personal, to drop in and have tea with him at the White House? Sure he did."

Frank nodded sheepishly.

"Nothing from nobody," Jack repeated from the back seat, putting his hands over his head to try to stave off Bill's knuckles.

"That's right, honest," Frank said desperately. "We've had some flat tires, and we're late."

"You," said the policeman, pointing to Jack. "Is that right? Are you going to see the President?"

"Not just the President," Jack told him. "Mrs. Hoover and some judges from the Supreme Court, too. Why don't you shove off, Buddy?"

The patrolman surveyed the car, the airplane paint job, the red waterline. He looked at us individually--Frank, Bill, and Fred, greasy from changing tires. Dan pale and about to be car sick. Jack and Bob, wrinkled and dirty.

"I guess you're telling the truth," he said. "The President doesn't get many laughs, and I ain't going to be responsible for his missing this one. Go ahead. But not more than forty-five miles an hour."

Taken from:
Gilbreth, Frank B. Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey. Belles on their Toes (195*), pp. 197-8.

How did I rate this book? 3 stars

Keep Em Reading

How can an author keep a reader's interest? To keep them reading?

Entice them with just enough information that they're dying to find out more.

Anne Rice does just that in her book Angel Time... The story of a hitman who is just doing his job. But this is no ordinary hitman. He's a hitman haunted by his past. Conflicted.

This exerpt comes right after he's successful in completing a hit (i.e. murder) for his boss. A stranger shows up. Someone who seems to know everything about him...

The feeling of despair was almost blinding. I stopped in my tracks. We were under the campanario. It couldn't have been a more lovely spot. The ivy was trailing over the bells, and people were streaming by us on the pathway, to the left and to the right. I could hear the laughter and chatter from the nearby Mexican restaurant. I could hear the birds in the trees.

He stood close to me, looking at me intently, looking at me the way I'd want a brother to look at me, but I had no brother, because my little brother had died a long, long time ago. My fault. The original murders.

And this isn't the first time in the book Rice hints that there's something to the death of the hitman's brother. This reference is full of possibility. What does he mean? Did he actually kill the brother? Was it an accident? Why was it his fault?

Well, I won't give the secret away here. For those answers, you have to read the book.

Taken from:
Rice, Anne. Angel Time (2009), p. 44.

How did I rate this book? 3 stars

Begin with a Cliffhanger

The Cliffhanger.

Leave the character in a suspenseful situation. Make the reader keep reading to find out what happens next. You'll find them (usually) at the end of a chapter. Sometimes at the end of book.

But Dodie Smith has a different approach to cliffhangers in her book I Capture the Castle. Oh, it may not be a cliffhanger in the original sense of the word. Nobody is hanging off a cliff. But the cliffhanging art of suspense is certainly present.

However, instead of dropping her teaser at the end of a chapter, she puts it at the beginning!

Okay, a bit of background on this book. It's written in the format of a journal. The writer is 17-year-old Cassandra, the protagonist of the novel. Cassandra's passion is to become a writer. And this journal is her outlet. Chapter X begins with these lines:

Oh, I long to blurt out the news in my first paragraph -- but I won't! This is a chance to teach myself the art of suspense.

Smith is almost too obvious here. Yet, coming through Cassandra's voice, it works. Cassandra wants to become an author, so it makes sense that she'd try to work on her technique.

And guess what? It also does the trick. The reader does want to find out what it is that Cassandra is holding back. Smith does this same thing later on in Chapter XIII -- this time, it's a little less obvious...

Oh, how bitter it is to read that last line I wrote little over three weeks ago -- now when I cannot even remember what happiness felt like!

I didn't read back any further. I was too afraid of losing the dead, flat, watching myself feeling which has come this morning for the first time. It is utterly dreary but better than acute wretchedness, and has given me a faint desire to empty my mind into this journal, which will pass a few hours. But shall I be able to write about the wicked thing I did on my birthday? Can I bring myself to describe it fully? Perhaps I can work up to it.

Yes, the suspense is just as powerful. Perhaps even more so...

And yes, it comes at the opening of a chapter.

Taken from:
Smith, Dodie. I Capture the Castle (1949), pp. 189, 268.

How did I rate this book? 4 stars